Post Therapy Musings

Realized that one of my favorite modes of “escape” is sensory indulgence. Wine, food, perfume, good sounds, preferred textures, aesthetically pleasing outfits, well done make up, etc. really, really put me at ease.

For example, I spend WAY too much money on perfume, smelly soap, and scented candles, I am a wine/beer snob, and I have a play list titled “Sounds my brain likes.”

Instead of over indulgence as a form of escape, my therapist suggested embracing my sensory enjoyment in ways that help me find more meaning and hopefulness in my life, and lead me to make more interpersonal connections. I’m going to look for a wine tasting meet up in the area.

Even if I can’t get my thoughts in order, I can still have some healthy, fun, and enjoyable experiences by working with my strong sensory preferences.

I was at dinner with my family because I’m feeling especially unstable right now, then my troll brother started making fun of “tumblr feminists.” So I fucking walked out of the restaurant.

I said, “if you just respect me as a person, please stop.”

So he said, “I do, that’s why you need to experience pain once in a while.”

Fuck you. No. No. I am I CONSTANT PAIN. FUCK YOU.

Tumblr is my ONLY community. It is my ONLY support. You don’t fucking attack that and get away.